She's Not the Man I Married- My Life with a Transgender Husban

it's not the book I had hoped for
I get it. Gender is variable. Next! I really wanted to like this book. I have gender issues and I am not sure where they will end up, and I also have a wife who has her own anxieties about this. Reading the reviews of this book it would be a really good book to educate her (and me) about the trans issue and the ways in which partners are commonly affected by it. Now I don't want her anywhere near it. The book IS educational, and can be quite witty, but is also quite overwhelming, perhaps because so many issues are brought up all at once. The seven chapters promise different facets of this issue (social, biology, our experience, etc), but I struggle to recall how one was different from another. Many issues are covered throughout the book . . . but they are covered as an intertwined theme throughout the entire book instead of one at a time. If the themes were teased apart and presented in separate chapters, it would be far easier to take them onboard instead of constantly wondering what this repetition of "gender is a continuum" is supposed to be telling me that is different to the previous one? and the one before that? If the book fell apart into 3-4 page leaflets, we could get the entire message from any one leaflet I also take issue, perhaps unfairly, with the usefulness of the text for others. I wanted myself and my partner to read this to gain insight into how being trans and/or TS may affect us and our marriage. I would hazard a guess that we are typical of the target audience, and the major reason for the book. However Helen and Betty's situation is far from typical. They both have hormonal issues that have made it somewhat easier to at least begin this part of their journey, and accept what it says about their own sexualities/genders. Betty is androgynous and never looked like a guy in a dress, doesn't need to hormones or surgery to pass. Helen is already open to gender variation. That's all fine - it's their life history and her story. But what of others (I hesitate to say "more typical") trans couples? What might we expect? There are offhand remarks here and there, usually distressing (all those separated trans women!), but no specific section (a chapter? There's a thought) on this area that deals with it comprehensively. A major absence since I would bet it is at the forefront of every readers mind.

Thought provoking
Anyone who is in a relationship dominated by transgenderism or curious as to what is it like, will appreciate the insights discussed. The author's candid and intimate thoughts on this most difficult subject are pertinent for both spouse and transfolk alike.

She's not the Man I married
Excellent resources for spouses, but Helen puts an excessive amount of reference to her own butch tendencies to cloud the veracity of her spousal feelings.

crossdresser
More of the same about My Husband Betty and would recommend for all crossdressers and SO's.

Another success for Helen Boyd
"Helen Boyd," again has published a fine book on a very complicated subject. Helen takes the slant of a "feminist," but with such care, dedication, humility, humor and consideration for "Betty," that I cannot find anything wrong with this book. Helen makes things "pop" with understanding and reality. I read this book cover to cover in just a few days and will re-read this book to improve my understanding of Helen, Betty and the TG community. Helen's writing flows over the surface like warm butter over a glass pan. I cannot wait for her next book!